At least I still have two hands...

       Having Diabetes is like living in the Game of Thrones.  Epic, requiring heroism, shocking loss…a world where there is just so much damn drama and pain.  And it’s exhausting.  The relentless testing, watching, measuring, medicating, testing again, charting, tracking, adjusting, and testing again…it’s just massively draining.    

Trying to keep myself motivated, and positive, and on top of my own health, can just feel overwhelming.  Last night I cried and railed against the unfairness of having to cope with so much…my diabetes and my psoriatic arthritis – both requiring so much work and focus and maintenance.  I’m scared that if anything else happens or breaks or fails it will just be too much for me to cope with.  Sometimes what I already have to deal with is too much to cope with.

I think about the incredible freedom people without diabetes have and it almost seems beyond comprehension.  What must it be like to wake up and not even think about what is happening inside your body?  The sheer bliss of just eating what you want, when you want…no medications, no testing, no fears about going high, going low…wow.    It’s not fair.  It’s just not.

I’ve had a stomach bug for a couple of days and that just increases the need for tracking my blood glucose levels.  I took my morning long-acting insulin shot and then spent the next 24 hours chases falling blood sugar levels.  Nausea made it really quite disgusting to get food in me…I managed, but it took tea with sugar to get me through it.  I don’t have the luxury of just dealing with being sick – I have to also be monitoring and adjusting and bending and weaving to make sure I don’t go too high or too low.

Sometimes having diabetes is just exhausting.  If anyone is out there reading this, it sure would be nice to hear what you struggle with too?